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[18 Sep 2007|11:43am] |
"Tarkovsky is the greatest of them all. He moves with such naturalness in the room of dreams. He doesn't explain. What should he explain anyhow?"
- Ingmar Bergman
"When Andrei was no more I was bereaved of a person with whom I could talk about the most important things. It was like my "room" vanished... They say you should not pray to an idol. Christ, we have run out of idols."
- Rashit Safiullin
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| Update. |
[08 Aug 2007|10:58pm] |
Still happy.
Happier, in fact.
"Nathaniel,
Thank you for a refreshingly compelling query letter.
I'm putting your story up for consideration in Issue 122, but should it not find a home there, we may be able to slot it into another issue down the line. Thanks for thinking of us.
Russ Pitts
Associate Editor - Acquisitions
The Escapist
www.escapistmagazine.com"
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| From A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius |
[27 Jun 2007|02:11am] |
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"All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.
Published in the United States by Simon & Schuster, a division of a larger and more powerful company called Viacom Inc., which is wealthier and more populous than eighteen of the fifty states of America, all of Central America, and all of the former Soviet Republics combined and tripled. That said, no matter how big such companies are, and how many things they own, or how much money they have or make or control, their influence over the daily lives and hearts of individuals, and thus, like ninety-nine percent of what is done by official people in cities like Washington, or Moscow, or Sao Paulo, or Auckland, their effect on the short, fraught lives of human beings who limp around and sleep and dream of flying through bloodstreams, who love the smell of rubber cement and think of space travel while having intercourse, is very very small, and so hardly worth thinking about."
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[29 May 2007|04:07am] |
I have, to date, 12 original songs written and recorded (albeit with very shitty equipment). My hope for this summer is to continue writing, and to work on the songs I do have with other people to add and improve them, and then to rerecord them and hell, make an album.
Anyone interested? I put a couple of new songs on the Pirate Lights myspace page. Anyway, yeah, I really want to do this.
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[27 May 2007|04:34am] |
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Ugh, Dad. Seriously. Just drop it.
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| Emo post. Deal with it. |
[03 May 2007|09:15pm] |
It's damn near impossible to function as a human being when you're at war with your brain. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do - to continue to feel happy, to feel a sense of obligation to anything, to get out of bed in the morning. Most people, at the end of the day, at least themselves to rely on, to lean back on, at the end of the day. I don't have that.
Who are you when you don't know what's you and what's some chemical reaction?
And to get better, I'm going to have to go through hell and back, provoking the very anxiety and pain that I've been obsessed with and tortured by for months. I have to put out the fire with napalm. I'm going to hurt both ways.
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[26 Apr 2007|11:20pm] |
Goodbye, beard.
Hello, summer.
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[16 Apr 2007|12:26pm] |
Awesome.
So I recently posted quotes regarding the ambient band Stars of the Lid, and the Tarkvosky film Stalker. I was watching the end of Stalker, and I recognized a sound during the final scene. It's a dog whimpering, and then a strange buzzing noise. I KNEW I had heard it before, many times. But where the hell would I have heard this exact dog and exact buzzing noise?
Turns out it's sampled in a Stars of the Lid song randomly.
That's cool. One of my favorite ambient albums happens to have a clip from an obscure Russian sci-fi movie that I found out about through playing an obscure Ukranian game.
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[15 Apr 2007|12:01am] |
I get to write an 8-page paper on Blade Runner for my Film Theory class.
Weeeeeeeeee.
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| "No one has every gone back the same way they came in The Zone." |
[14 Apr 2007|11:57pm] |
"Tarkovsky's films are characterised by Christian and metaphysical themes, extremely long takes, and memorable images of exceptional beauty. Recurring motifs in his films are dreams, memory, childhood, running water accompanied by fire, rain indoors, reflections, levitation, and characters re-appearing in the foreground of long panning movements of the camera.
Tarkovsky developed a theory of cinema that he called "sculpting in time". By this he meant that the unique characteristic of cinema as a medium was to take our experience of time and alter it. Unedited movie footage transcribes time in real time. (The speedy jump-cutting style that is prevalent in music videos and many Hollywood movies, by contrast, overrides any sense of time by imposing the editor's viewpoint.) By using long takes and few cuts in his films, he aimed to give the viewers a sense of time passing, time lost, and the relationship of one moment in time to another.
Up to and including his film Mirror, Tarkovsky focused his cinematic works on exploring this theory. After Mirror, he announced that he would focus his work on exploring the dramatic unities proposed by Aristotle: a concentrated action, happening in one place, within the span of a single day. Stalker is, by his own words, the only film that truly reflects this ambition; it is also considered by many to be a near-perfect reflection of the sculpting in time theory."
-- Wikipedia, "Andrei Tarkovsky"
Stalker is really good.
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[14 Apr 2007|02:55pm] |
Tangy The Ninja: move bitch
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way bitch
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way
Tangy The Ninja: move bitch
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way bitch
Tangy The Ninja: get out the way
Tangy The Ninja: Oh Noooooo!
Tangy The Ninja: The fights out!
Tangy The Ninja: Get the fuck back! I'm about to punch yo
Tangy The Ninja: Lights OUT!
Tangy The Ninja: Nate
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Tangy The Ninja: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Tangy The Ninja: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tangy The Ninja: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tangy The Ninja: .......
Tangy The Ninja: ..
Tangy The Ninja: I'm super bored
Tangy The Ninja: super bored
Tangy The Ninja: super
Tangy The Ninja: bored
Tangy The Ninja: dide
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: I'm about to play freebird on hard mode
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: I made it to free bird on hard mode
Tangy The Ninja: wish me luck buddy
Tangy The Ninja: You're looking for guitar "solo i" in practice mode.
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: i did it
Tangy The Ninja: I'm a guitar hero
Tangy The Ninja: I have to go now nate
Auto response from goestofortytwo: rockin' and rollin'... elsewhere.
Tangy The Ninja: into space
Tangy The Ninja: to join other guitar hero
Tangy The Ninja: s
Tangy The Ninja: who have also beat freebird on hard mode or expert
Tangy The Ninja: I don't expect you to understand
Tangy The Ninja: it's a fith button thing
Tangy The Ninja: I'll always remember you my dearest friend
Tangy The Ninja: NATE
Tangy The Ninja: I've made a terrible mistake
Tangy The Ninja: these aliens are not our friends
Tangy The Ninja: they have killed the other guitar heroes
Tangy The Ninja: nate I'm the only one left
Tangy The Ninja: nate there's no time I can't stop them
Tangy The Ninja: but you can nate
Tangy The Ninja: I can only hope my sacrifice will help save mankind
Tangy The Ninja: Go nate
Tangy The Ninja: go while you still can
Tangy The Ninja: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tangy The Ninja signed off at 3:27:16 AM.
Tangy The Ninja signed on at 3:27:28 AM.
Tangy The Ninja signed off at 4:08:56 AM.
goestofortytwo: fucking sandals!
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| Another Ballad For Heavy Lids |
[05 Apr 2007|03:19am] |
"While SOTL will always be tagged as "cinematic," the music here rarely leads. You get the sense that this it could be used to color a wide array of images. The brief "Hiberner Toujours" on the second disc is a three-note phrase played on a cello with an intense vibrato and heavy reverb, first alone, then doubled, with muted electronic treatments lurking just behind. I could just as easily see it soundtracking a morning-after newsreel of a WWII firebombing or a stop-motion blooming of a flower. And then "Humectez La Mouture" extends an idea developed by the sorely missed Labradford and perfected by the Books: A deceptively simple and spacious bit of music with a neutral emotional cast is presented without additional cues and allowed to live or die on its own. Here SOTL take a couple of piano chords lightly kissed with electronics and let the progression play with small bits of shading, including what sounds like manipulated pedal steel and the dialog track from a French film. It doesn't "go" anywhere, really, and it's hard to say what it projects; the music could be crushingly sad, lightly melancholic, or even uplifting, depending on the state of mind of the hearer. It becomes a sound divorced from intention and its ambiguity is its strength."
-- From the Pitchfork Review of And Their Refinement of the Decline of Stars of the Lid.
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[04 Apr 2007|12:22am] |
[x] know how to make a pot of coffee.
[ ] I keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] I own more than one credit card.
[ ] I know how to change the oil.
[x] I do my own laundry.
[x] I vote every election.
[ ] I can cook for myself
[ ] I think politics are exciting.
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
total so far: 3
[ ] I show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] I always carry a pen/pencil in my pocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I have never smoked a cigarette.
[x] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[x] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what 'credibility' means without looking it up.
[ ] I drink coffee at least once a week.
total so far: 9
[x] I know how to do the dishes.
[x] I can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[x] I study when I have to.
[ ] I pay attention at school/college.
[x] I remember to feed my pets.
total so far: 17
[x] I can spell 'experience' without looking it up
[ ] I work out on a regular basis.
[ ] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me by name.
[ ] my favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] I have gained weight since middle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
[ ] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type quickly.
total so far: 21
[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party.
[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All my friends are older than I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the internet every day.
[x] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while.
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.
total: 26
Now subtract your score from 55, and that's when you should be married:
55-26 = 29.
Yeah, maybe.
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| Getting off my ass. |
[03 Apr 2007|05:44pm] |
I've spent the past month in a vacuum. I've gone to fewer than half of my classes, I've called in sick to work four times, I spent so much time sleeping in and just letting things pass by. I pretty much only lived for the weekends. I practically only ate fast food. I stayed up until 5 in the morning every day.
Well, now it's nearing the end of the semester, and it hit me just how poorly I've been living. It's a miracle that I've maintained decent grades in my classes, though those aren't guaranteed. I've spent the last week smoothing things over with teachers, GSIs, and bosses, explaining that "Oh, sorry, I have OCD and my medication has been fucking me up. Cut me some slack, please?"
The fact is, yeah, I do have OCD. Yeah, I've had almost constant, all-consuming obsessive anxiety for the past four or so months. Yeah, my medication does cause insomnia, and I do wake up nauseous every morning, feeling like shit. Yeah, I've been depressed and lacking motivation and energy. But sleeping in, doing nothing, and refusing to be engaged by my classes is not going to improve things for me. It's only going to feed the depression.
So I'm stepping it up. I'm going to live well from here on out. I really need to. Feel free to kick my ass if I don't. (That means you, Sarah. But other people too.)
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| Tidbits. Nuggets, if you will. |
[28 Mar 2007|04:48am] |
Well, we got shafted at the film festival. We didn't win anything. And the ones that did win? Kind of meh, if you ask me. But it was still a great experience seeing my movie (and name) on the big screen at the Michigan Theater.
I'm getting happier. It's slow progress, but it's there.
Three weeks of school left. Good.
I might have an internship waiting for me. Better.
I have nine songs recorded. Some of them are pretty good, I think. I can't wait to get people together to work on them this summer. Best.
Wait, no. Sarah Bommarito. Best. Really.
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[15 Mar 2007|04:52am] |
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Who knew a PowerPoint presentation could make you so happy?
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[15 Mar 2007|01:54am] |
The anxiety is still there, but I'm happier.
I think I'm getting better.
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| This is awesome. |
[07 Mar 2007|06:04pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Air - Redhead Girl |
] |
Got this e-mail today.
"Congratulations on submitting a film for the Millers Creek Film Festival. Your film is a finalist. It has been judged a worthy contribution to the contest and will be shown in the historic Michigan Theater on March 27 at 4:30 PM. There is no admission fee to see the films, and we hope that you will encourage your family and friends to join us in the beautiful theater for this gala event. We will have a reception with live music and complimentary refreshments (homemade cookies, bottles of water from the Huron River) before and after the show.
Should you find that you are a winner you should be ready to accept your prize with a VERY BRIEF explanation of your intentions, the inspiration for your film and what you learned in making it. Although there is only one prize in each category, we shall honor a few additional films that nearly won, in addition to the prize winners. We will ask those filmakers to come forward as well but we do not expect to have time for them to talk.
Please do not sit in the balcony since it would take you too long to come up to the stage from there.
All of the winning films (and runners up) will be on a DVD, which will be available in the lobby after the show (on March 27th). There will be a modest charge for the DVD’s.
We would very much appreciate your help in publicizing the Millers Creek Film Festival. Attached is a flier to print and post.
You will be featured in the souvenir program. I hope you and your friends will enjoy the show.
If you have suggestions for enhancing the Festival design, please let me know.
Thanks,
-Joan Martin
Huron River Watershed Council
(734) 769-5123, X.11"
Sweeeet. Anyone who'll be in Ann Arbor then, you're welcome to come. I'll love you long time.
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[19 Feb 2007|02:52pm] |
No wonder I feel so detached from the world. I spend so much time on the computer.
I barely even use paper any more.
I want to use more paper. There's something about it that keeps things grounded and tangible, instead of this whirling, ever-changing, ultimately pointless mindfuck that is the internet. It's ironic that something that connects you to so much can remove you from it so completely, and sneakily, over time. Before you know it, you know more about the thoughts of some blogger asshole from Montreal than you do about the people you see every day.
I don't know most of the street names around here, and I've lived here for a year and a half.
The funniest part of all of this? I'm bitching about the internet on an internet journal. Oh well. I'm going to go buy a journal. Right now.
---
Chicago in less than a week. That's going to be really good.
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